Finding Confidence

Would you be surprised if I told you that I have struggled with my confidence throughout my life? Shocking...don't we all at one point or another?

Last week, I attended my weekly bible study. The message was very interesting to me, focusing on taking risks, developing friendships, and having trust and belief to see things happen or unfold in your life when it's supposed to, instead of trying to control everything and make it happen on your own. We broke out into our smaller discussion groups to talk about what stuck out to us in the presentation. Several women shared that they weren't comfortable takings risks and when asked why, it was about lack of self-confidence, other people's opinions, rejection and fear. Their comments really resonated with me. About half-way through our discussion, I felt like I was in a bit of a haze, somewhat lost or numb. Nothing negative had happened earlier in the day to cause these feelings, I was just in a funk. It's hard to describe but maybe you've had this happen to you too. At the end of the class, I felt the nudge to request prayer for confidence and direction. I went through my day running errands but still in a haze and I couldn't figure out why.

I had previously scheduled a massage for the following day which I was looking forward to and was long overdue. After checking in, the young woman guided me to the intention bowl to pick a stone to drop in the water fountain, it's a tradition they do there. All of the stones have a positive or inspirational word engraved on them. As I always do, I looked away from the bowl and randomly selected my stone. And guess which word I chose? The word on my stone was Confidence. I couldn't believe it! I laughed a little bit aloud in disbelief. The young lady looked at me as I took a photo of the stone in my hand. I shared with her that I had asked for prayer the day before for this word to show up and become more present in my life. I rubbed the stone between my fingers, closed my eyes and tossed it into the small fountain. I felt this sense of peace. Are prayers answered this quickly? Was the universe listening? I guess it was meant to be. I carried these thoughts and questions with me into the massage room where I happily hopped onto the massage table. Another table in our lives and one of my favorites!

After my massage, I texted my friend Debbie with a picture of my stone. We both agreed that this was truly amazing. It was a beautiful reminder that I need to remain committed in maintaining my confidence to continue on this journey I feel called to. Starting this new venture and putting myself out there isn't within my comfort zone. With that said, pull up a chair at my table. Today's message is about finding your Confidence or getting it back if you've lost it.

You Are as Good as the Best..... Just believe

Growing up, my mom would say to me when I was trying out for something, competing for a job promotion, becoming a mom, or putting myself out there in the world and not feeling confident, "Remember, Angela, you are as good as the best and better than the rest. And when you enter a room, hold your head high and be proud of who you are and where you come from."

I didn't fully understand this as a teen or young adult, but as I began my career it made a lot more sense. We tend to think that others we meet or socialize with have it all together or are better than we are and it simply isn't true. No one has it all together and we all go through periods where our confidence is not where we want it to be. When this happens, we tend to compare ourselves to others and can downplay ourselves.

However, when you understand that people in general want others to think they have it all together, especially on social media, then it makes it a little easier to recognize reality.

So, I pass these words to you in hopes that you realize just how amazing and powerful YOU are. Instead of comparing yourself to others and letting their words affect you and your confidence, focus on your personal journey and the progress you have made. Celebrate every little win and every little step forward. Your uniqueness and the contributions you make to your community, life, workplace, family or any environment you are part of is more important.

Other Peoples Opinion: Breaking It Down a Little Further

I have struggled with this for years and have allowed things into my heart and mind that don't belong there. Please don't allow other people's judgment or comments about you to get in your head. Their opinions don't matter in the grand scheme of life. It is important to recognize that the way others perceive you is often a reflection of their own life experiences, insecurities, jealousy, and biases rather than an accurate assessment of your worth or abilities. In truth, we don't have the right to judge others. Yet people do. We all do from time to time. People have their own unique perspectives, and that's okay, but often they are shaped by many factors. I encourage you not to allow external voices to drown out your inner voice; focus on nurturing self-acceptance and confidence. Understand that everyone has flaws and imperfections and embrace your individuality and the qualities that make you special. Surround yourself with positive influences—those special people who lift you up and encourage you to be the best version of yourself. Those same people may also, from time to time, provide you with constructive criticism, and that's okay. It can be valuable, but it should come from the heart and for your overall well-being, not from those who seek to undermine your confidence only to build theirs up.

Remember You Are Worth It-

Find Your Confidence and Embrace Your Talents and Gifts

The old saying, you are the only you there is on this earth and nobody else can be you, is so true. I think Dr. Seuss said something to this effect.

• Acknowledge and know your worth. Each person has unique qualities, gifts and strengths that contribute to their individuality. Everyone has a gift. If you don't know what it is, dig deep to find it. It might not be anything you ever imagined. Ask yourself what others ask you for advice on, what brings you joy, what activities do you enjoy?

• Reflect on your achievements, no matter how small they may seem at the time. Small achievements can add up and lead to big achievements.

• Consider keeping a journal where you can write down your accomplishments, positive feedback from others, and moments when you felt proud of yourself. It's so important to pat yourself on the back when you have achieved something important to you. This practice can serve as a powerful reminder of your capabilities and the value you bring to the table.

• Don't be afraid to offer your talents and gifts to the world. You might be surprised to know that the world just might be waiting to hear from you!

• Consider removing yourself from relationships or environments that make you question your worth. If people around you are not supporting you to be the best version of yourself, perhaps it's time to reconsider that relationship. If you've been reaching out to someone with no response, sadly, it might be time to take a step back.

I understand that finding your confidence again can often feel like a daunting challenge, especially after experiencing setbacks or moments of self-doubt. I've been there my friend. However, it is so important to remember that your worth, talent, friendships, and unique gifts are invaluable and should never be underestimated or be taken advantage of.

Finding your confidence or maintaining it is a journey that requires patience, self-reflection, and a commitment to YOU, the most important commitment, in my opinion, you can make. By embracing these aspects of yourself and pushing through challenges, you can reclaim your self-assurance and thrive. Remember, you are capable of achieving great things, and your confidence is not just a temporary feeling but a powerful tool that can lead you to success and fulfillment.

Embarking on this new adventure and stepping out of my comfort zone is a risk for me. I'm being vulnerable sharing my thoughts with you in hopes you will connect with it in some way or share with someone in your life that could benefit. Although scary, I'm proud of myself for doing something different and pushing myself to connect with people in this world where connection isn't always easy.

Is there something you've been too scared to do or try that you really want to? If so, just put yourself out there. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. The answer will always be no if you don't try. Perhaps this is the sign you've needed to push you towards stepping out of your comfort zone.

Thanks for joining me on this adventure. If this post resonated with you, feel free to leave me a comment! I look forward to connecting again with you next week.